EXERCISE 2: FRUSTRATION WITH MY PARTNER

PROMPTERS FOR NEGATIVE FEELINGS AND FEARS

Column A: List all the ways your partner frustrates you. Frustrating behaviors are behaviors done by your partner which, when s/he does them, you feel frustrated.

Column B: Record the feelings you have with each frustrating event. Use a feeling word such as "angry", "sad", "scared", "guilty", etc.

Column C: Describe what you typically do in reaction to each frustration.

Column D: Identify what you think may be the hidden fear underlying each sequence of event - feeling - reactive behavior. See prompters, if necessary.

For column B: Feelings

anger	discouraged	hopeless	hurt
cheated	helpless	humiliated	cowardly
animosity	remorseful	uneasy	rejected
repelled	sad	insecure	sorry
cold	inadequate	lonely	revulsion
indifferent	anxious	trapped	sorrowful
hate	distrustful	irritated	afraid
annoyed	tense	repulsion	fearful
bored	mad	ashamed	nervous
distant	disgusted	embarrassed	gutless
alienated	despair	depressed	guilty
withdrawn	disappointed	sad

The list on the right contains words that indicate negative "feelings", use it as a prompter for feelings you

have about your frustrations. Select the ones that apply to you and list them in Column B of the exercise

For column D: Fears

Feel free to add your own terms.

neglected abandoned rejected smothered

ashamed guilty being invisible controlled

excluded ostracized used ignored

suppressed disapproved dominated devalued

A. Frustrating Behaviors	B. Feelings	C. Reactive Behaviors	D. Hidden Fears
When you........(e.g. are late) you always/never.......( don't call/call)	I feel..................(e.g. angry)	Then I react by................ (e.g. sulking)	To hide my fear of ......(e.g. being abandoned)

Upon completion, circle your three deepest frustrations, your one worst feeling, your three most intense reactive behaviors, and your deepest fear.